I have been posting about my poor dear hubby and people keep asking how are you, so I thought I would do a posting about me and this difficult time.
I guess for me this all began back on December 20th, when Keith went into hospital for three days with his back, since he came home it has been one thing after another, what with the sickness bug and then the water infection after Christmas, but nothing could have prepared me for the rollercoaster of emotions that I have had since Keith went into hospital for his Gallbladder on January 13th. I had spent the past few weeks nursing Keith on the boat and had little sleep whilst I kept one eye open in case he needed me. With this event, at first I was focused on just making sure he was fine, forgetting that I needed to look after myself. Then on the 15th to get the phone call to say “You have 20 minutes to get to the hospital, because Keith is going to theatre”. I was thankful that my neighbour rushed me to his side and she did not break the speed limit. I needed to hug him and tell him I loved him. I did not want to fall apart then, because he needed to know I was strong and I have been strong throughout really. Then it was the sight of him in ICU. I was calm with him all wired up and tubes coming out of him, but he was supposed to have the surgery and then go to the ward. But because they could not wake him and the operation was an emergency and lasted two and half hours he had to go to ICU, so everyday I was going twice a day to sit with him, even though he did not know I was there. I would walk to and from the hospital twice a day. He was on three antibiotics and lots of pain relief. I am so grateful to everyone at the mooring, who supported me whilst he was in ICU. I was not sleeping and did not really eat properly, I picked at the left over Christmas food. My mind was racing as Keith was fighting to wake up and the sepsis which had poisoned his body. I was helpless to do anything for him, but I felt I needed to be there. Then on Sunday 19th after four days in ICU they moved him at 7.30 pm on to the hospital ward. I had been with him all day and whilst it was good he was coming out of ICU, I still could not help thinking it was to soon. His morning did not help me sleep or eat, because there was going to be a long way to go. He has now been on the ward for four days and is having up and down days just like me. My day starts usually early hours because I cannot sleep. I get up and make myself a cuppa before going back to bed, where I toss and turn. 6 am I get up and on some days go and do my washing in the laundry. I then sort the boat fires for the day. Feed mog and dog and walk dog. I have to say they have been so good. I then do the 20 minute walk to the hospital and get there for visiting. I am allowed to visit in the morning, then there is an hours break and then back in the afternoon for a couple of hours, before I walk the 20 minutes back to the boat, where mog and dog greet me every evening. On some of the evenings I have gone and given updates to the neighbours and then returned to the boat where I sort dinner for mog and dog and then something for me. Tonight I felt like Scampi and Duck Spring Rolls with Chilli Sauce. I know they are not healthy but I fancied them mmmm. I have had tears over this past week and a half, but thanks to my friends here, on the phone and Facebook, I have enjoyed much needed hugs.
The boat has been looking after itself, all’s I have done is get coal in and fill the water tank. I did put the hoover around this morning and as I said before I have got the washing done. I am so thankful that we are on a mooring, because if we had been on the towpath in the middle of no where, we would never have coped and I dread to think what could have happened to Keith.
I know that it is going to be a long haul for Keith, so I need to stay well and strong for him, because he is going to need a lot of TLC when he finally comes home.
So you can see I am fine and I am managing.